


fixation (how do you fix it?)

by sunflower_8



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: M/M, Minor, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Love, vent ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:55:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: souda and komaeda chat, sipping brightly colored drinks and watching the waves undulate. however, everything circles back to its beginning, and souda struggles to reach someone so far gone.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito & Soda Kazuichi, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi (implied), Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi (past) (unrequited)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 85





	fixation (how do you fix it?)

“why are you doing this to yourself?”

komaeda looks up at him in confusion, a smile still on his face. souda curses himself. according to kuzuryuu, him and komaeda get along best because they both lack tact. although, souda would like to think he’s a  _ little  _ better about it. 

still, he realizes he should be a little more gentle. especially with the topic matter.

komaeda approached him first, which was surprising, asking if they could talk. souda had nothing better to do (he already finished the island repairs for the day) so he agreed to grab some fruit-flavored soda and talk to him on the beach. komaeda never really said why he wanted to talk to souda so bad, and he still hasn’t. 

souda is willing to bet it's because he’s the only person komaeda could go to to talk about unrequited love and hear about it from an understanding perspective. although souda got over his crush on sonia a long time ago (and is kinda maybe into kuzuryuu, but he keeps it lowkey), komaeda is still in love with hinata. 

“i’m afraid i don’t know what you mean, souda-kun.” komaeda’s smile doesn’t falter. souda knows that komaeda is lying, but says nothing on it. “i’m terribly sorry.”

“it’s fine, man. i just meant... hinata. and you. you like him.”

komaeda’s lip turns down, but his eyes still remain falsely cheerful. souda wonders if komaeda really thinks he’s that stupid to not notice all the body language and offhanded remarks he makes about being in love with someone who doesn’t return it. komaeda runs his metal index finger in the sand and replies, “of course i do. how could i not? hinata-kun and kamukura-kun are the ultimate hope-”

“and i’m the ultimate mechanic but you don’t jerk it to me.” souda immediately winces. he can hear pretty much everyone scolding him for his methods. “shit, sorry. that was harsh.”

“it’s fine, souda-kun.” komaeda’s now neutral expression indicates that it is, indeed, not fine. “to trace back to your original question, it’s not something i can control. were you able to fall in and out of love with sonia whenever you desired?”

souda shakes his head. “nah. and yeah, i guess that was kinda a dumb question on my part. i just mean… like, do you’ll think you’ll ever move on?”

“someone as unlucky as me would never be able to.” 

souda runs his hand through his hair. “right. uh, well… you’ve probably considered this already, but… what if hinata returns your feelings? i mean, the dude’s pretty quiet about these kinds of things, but-”

“souda-kun.” the way komaeda says his name is sharp and warning. “don’t say that. you and i both know that someone like hinata-kun could  _ never _ fall in love with someone like me.”

“why not? you hate yourself a lot, komaeda-”

“i noticed,” komaeda replies dryly.

souda sighs. “look, man, we both know you don’t like yourself, but when you reason it out logically, you’re not that bad.” see, that’s a pretty good reassurance! kuzuryuu would be proud.

it doesn’t work on komaeda, though. he laughs, but it sounds more like a painful wheeze. “hinata-kun says similar things. he tells me that when my mind fails me, i have to rely on logic.” komaeda looks at souda with a manic, almost panicked look in his eye. “but neither of you  _ understand _ . i reasoned it out. i put all the pieces together. and in the end, it’s more clear than ever that i’m a disgusting, worthless piece of garbage.”

“komaeda-” souda tries to interject, but the other keeps going.

“i’m insane, souda. you don’t have to lie to me. everyone knows that. i’m not kind. i’m fanatical and optimistic at best and considered a madman at worst. with my luck, though, i’m  _ always _ my worst. even the concept that hinata-kun - glorious, wonderful, and endlessly kind - loves me is  _ hilarious.  _ it’s a joke!” komaeda laughs hysterically, but souda doesn’t. ”

“i’ve heard better. and... and that’s not even a joke, man. i hate saying this, but you need serious help. this is driving you crazy.”

komaeda shrugs, a smirk on his face. “i’m already crazy. besides, my affection for hinata might be the only thing keeping me alive!” 

souda’s glad he works with machines, but sometimes he wishes he knew how to talk to people. though, who really could respond to something like that? how can you fix it? he only knows how to fix things, and yet… “y’know, i’m sure future foundation has therapists.”

“and who would be communicating with them on my behalf?” komaeda already found the flaw in souda’s plan, then. “hinata-kun respects everyone’s privacy, and so do therapists, but he’s going to ask why. and it’s hard to lie to him. it’s easy to lie to everyone else, though i don’t see a need to, but it's _impossible_ with him.” he looks so happy, but souda notices him crinkling the empty soda can with his metal hand. the jagged edges of plastic must be digging into his thigh, where he rests it. souda doesn't think komaeda minds it. “therapists all think i’m insane, anyway. and, of course, they’re correct, but it’s difficult to trust them.”

souda’s out of plans. he’s already run through plan a, b, c, d, and e. he never thought he’d need an f. “i’m sorry.” he knows that’s not helpful, that komaeda doesn’t want his pity, but what can souda say to that? how can he look someone so set in his beliefs in the eye and say  _ hey, the guy that you have a complicated past with is friendzoning you, but it’s okay, just ignore it _ ? he can’t. he can’t do that.

(he wonders if he should tell hinata. is that what a good friend does? but then again, hinata is the same person as kamukura now, and the ultimate talent probably noticed komaeda’s behavior that started ever since they met on the island. plus, komaeda would be ashamed, and then his mental health would get worse, and souda isn’t very good at judging people’s mental stability but he’s going to go out on a limb and say that komaeda can’t afford to be more depressed.)

“no need to apologize, souda-kun! i’m grateful you wasted your time on someone like me!” komaeda stands, and souda follows. “i’m going to head back to my cabin. thank you for listening to me and allowing me to confide in you!” he starts walking away, but before he can get too far, souda calls out,

“hey, komaeda!”

the other turns around, head tilted, “yes, souda-kun?”

“i... i hope you figure everything out. with hinata. i hope you move on.”

komaeda’s silvery eyes are suddenly filled with so much sadness that it’s palpable. his voice is quiet, albeit steady, when he replies, “i don’t.”

how could he fix that?

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed


End file.
